4 Things No One Tells You After Gaining Muscle and Getting Buff

Senior year of high school (2003), I weighed in at a whopping 180 lbs.

Today (2017), I got on the scale and I clocked in at 250 lbs. at 10% body fat.

I was and still am a complete and total nerd/dork/geek. Shy, no self-esteem, total geek, awkward, picked-on a bit as a kid. I was obsessed with airplanes, aeronautics, card games, and computers. You could not ask for a better wedgie target. How was I ever going to get a girlfriend? My poor parents they must have thought that this was the end of the genetic line.

So whats the natural thing for a guy to do? Start working out. Make it at least LOOK like you aren’t a total geek. Start playing sports. That is  what all the cool guys did! They were fit! They were confident!

Well

1. You have to be extra nice and friendly to people because you look intimidating. I have a little boy baby-face as it is. I’m 32 and I still get carded for rated R movies and video games. Going to bars? Ha. I can barely grow facial hair.  And then the goofy smile and a nice clean hair cut. When I was 16 (and skinny), I could walk through TSA with 2 AK-47s duck-taped to my hands and wouldn’t even be late to my flight.

Now people have trouble making eye-contact with me if they don’t know me or if I accidentally don’t smile or something. In fact, most girls stopped approaching

2. 10 times as many girls would come up to me in high school as they do now (unless they’re drunk). I peaked sophomore (HS) freshman (College). As far as that sweet spot between attractiveness and size goes, right in that 200 – 220 range was it at my height. Swimming was IT, man. Those years of just swimming and not touching a weight were perfect for all-around eye catching (especially in a Speedo). Just enough muscle to look like I was fit but not enough to be scary.

Multiple studies seem to back this up: the finding of a new study of 325 college women conducted by researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles. While women seek out muscular men for fun flings and view them as more attractive and better in bed, they definitely don’t want to marry them. Why? They’re seen as being less faithful, less likely to treat them well, and less emotionally sensitive, study co-author David Frederick. The muscular ones are pegged as looking for flings (which is why the drunk ones notice you)

When it comes to settling down with a life partner, these are the men that women find most attractive. When women are choosing mates, they’re facing a trade-off of choosing a guy who is very sexy or one who will stick around and treat them well, Frederick explained.

The results: Men with muscular physiques were rated nearly twice as sexy as non-muscular men, but they were also rated twice as intimidating and dominant.

Based on the theory were working under, most women wouldn’t choose to marry Brad Pitt because he has so many short-term dating opportunities, Frederick concluded. Most women believe that someone that good-looking would not remain faithful to them. The average woman would probably go for the Ray Romano guy as the long-term marriage partner, he said.

Counter-intuitive, isn’t it? Well, you know which demographic DOES start to notice you.

3. The dudes are the ones you start impressing. There are two types of people attracted to a muscular physique. If you want they’re attention, let me tell ya, bodybuilding works wonders.

They are: Straight men and gay men.

The straight guys come up to me all the time. Dude, how did you get your back that big. And Dude, how can I get my shoulders like yours. And Man, what do you do for arms. And Bruh, how you get your Teres Major to sweep like that, bruh?? You got SICK latissimus dorsi tie-ins, bruh!!

The gay guys come up to me and ask for my number or if they can touch my butt. Dammit!

Its true. here is your average Mens Health Fitness Model.

Damn, bruh. Lookin good! You been working out? Dudes want that.

And here is your average Cosmo Male Model.

DO YOU EVEN LIFT, BRUH??

Oh well. Guess I overshot that one, didn’t I? Its ok. What it has allowed me to do is build

4. Confidence because it doesn’t just happen. Here is what I AM learning about this whole thing. not everyone likes the same thing. Some people like it when their hydrocarbon mating machine has larger amounts of contractile proteins beneath their skin than others do. You know what everyone IS attracted to though? Confidence means there is a person behind the meat that we see. It means there is someone there to talk with, to argue with, to fight with, to wrestle with, to enjoy things with, and to share and experience life with.

Sure, there are the Jersey Shore types out there that can fake it, brag and boast their way to it, but real confidence means you are sure. How have sports and lifting helped? Because when I look in the mirror or when I can lift 10 more lbs. than I could a week ago, it becomes a pleasant reminder of how POWERFUL I am as human being.

Its a representation of how I can have an idea and then express it in the world I can turn the intangible into the physical. It is an ongoing confirmation of my ability and my capacity to change my world that I inhabit at the most basic, fundamental level: myself. I CAN SEE my agency in the world. I am addicted to the feeling that I am in control. I’m a human to be recognized because I can realize my desire and manifest it from a want. I can overcome myself, not give in to myself. IM IN CONTROL, no matter what happens, not the other way around, and that gives me confidence. In everything I do.

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