By this, I am talking about going out of your way to do things for your partner. If you’re tired after work and sitting on the couch, hop up and help her with dinner for a while. Drive out to the shop and grab the bread she forgot to buy earlier. The small sacrifices you make will do wonders for your relationship: showing the person that you care enough to take action is far better than being all talk.
I have spoken on the value of compliments to your co-workers, friends and acquaintances recently, and the same holds true for close relationships. If I want my wife to continue to look great and spend time looking after herself, complimenting and encouraging is really important! The same holds true for me also: I am a lot more inclined to spend time on not just personal grooming and appearance, but also trying to be a better person if I am hearing encouragement and getting support. Complimenting each other will certainly draw you closer.
This is really hard to do, especially if you are like me and lead a fairly busy life. Throw in shift work and kids into the equation, and you start to forget who your partner is! It’s really important to make time for each other. You can do this by delaying other tasks that are not as important if you have an hour free, go out for coffee together! This is something I have really tried to step up over the last year or so we try to go out for breakfast together on a semi-regular basis now, and at the very least devote some alone time with each other when were able to.
You would think this one would be obvious, but the first year pet names of lovey, honey-pie, snookums! Often become a distant memory the longer a relationship is together. Even if you do not call your partner pet names so much anymore, don’t forget to treat each other with respect. Speak kindly! Do not put the other person down.
One area of mine that I (still!) need to work on, is being tidy with my clothes. I love nothing more than to get changed and toss my old clothes into a corner of the room. This works great when you’re living with your parents or at college, not so great in a marriage! If somethings irritating you about your partner, talk about it (not scream!), tell them how it makes you feel. Don’t get defensive, work on addressing problem areas in your own life it will make your relationship a whole lot better!
Have you ever met a perfect person? Sometimes some people seem this way when you first meet them, then you discover they snort when they laugh, they have anger management issues, or maybe they cannot hold a conversation that’s not about themselves There are plenty of things we find out about each other the longer relationships progress. Letting little things get to you can put your whole relationship in jeopardy (I’m sure you have heard of a divorce that started over a toothpaste tube argument!). And for what purpose? So you can get with someone else who seems perfect, until you discover their flaws? Instead, use the opportunity to think about yourself what little things are you doing that might be irritating your partner?
Probably the best contributing factor (and my favorites) in my own relationship, is my friendship with my wife. We really actually do enjoy each other’s company! Do not turn into a boring stiff just because you’re getting older laugh! Muck around! Have fun with each other, and stay friends. This is a great key to a relationship that is lasting and meaningful.
These are some of the best things that I have learned (and continue to work on!) What have you found works well for you?
Craig is the founder of LifeGuider, he is dedicated to improving not only himself but also others in being more physically fit and mentally capable of handling life’s challenges. He is not your regular life coach, no fancy clothes or fast cars, just a regular “Ole Joe” who has experienced the ups and downs of life like everyone else.