You’ve heard all of the warnings. You’ve even just said “No” a few times. Still though, you wonder; if it’s so gawdawful and horrible, why are so many people doing it? Millions of people can’t be wrong can they? I’m not here to judge. I am simply here to give you some step by step ways to completely ruin your life with Crack Cocaine.
Firstly, if you really want to do it right, develop an alcohol habit. Make sure that you drink at least seven nights each week, and that at you can drink twice the amount as all of your friends without vomiting. The importance of alcoholism when it comes to ruining your life with crack cocaine cannot be minimized. Alcohol impairs your reasoning ability and your judgment, and makes you nearly invincible. These are necessary components if you truly want to ruin your life with crack cocaine. Get thee to a brewery! (or a distillery if you prefer) How do you know that your alcoholism has reached a point that you are ready to take the next step? The best indicator is that you have at least one DUI on your record. You can circumnavigate the globe drunk without getting caught, so if you got caught, you drink and drive a lot. You are ready for the next step.
The second most important thing you will need, if you truly want to ruin you life with crack cocaine, you will need to get past saying “no” when your friends ask you if you’d like to try it. You have to convince yourself that once doesn’t make you an addict. This is a crucial first step. Repeat this mantra to yourself “I can handle it. It’s no big deal. Just once can’t hurt. Besides, everyone here that is doing it seems to be having more fun.” You don’t want to miss out on fun do you? If you repeat that mantra to yourself often enough, eventually you will take that first puff. When you do, smile, cuz you are well on your way to completely ruining your life with Crack Cocaine. You have taken a big step. Have another puff.
Now that you have tried crack cocaine and proven that you can handle it, the trick is integrating it into your normal party routine. Remember though, if you are smoking often enough, no one likes a person who is always pilfering their stash. You are going to want to buy some of your own. It’s not that expensive for the little bit you use at a party. Pay your own way. Besides, when you have your own stash, you can start smoking it when you are ready, instead of waiting for a friend to light up. If you really want to do it right, you will want to start budgeting soon for crack cocaine. This is a key component for completely ruining your life with crack cocaine. Besides, the next step in completely ruining your life with crack cocaine will require you to have a stash.
So you are sitting at home. Its 1 pm, (wakey wakey) and the club doesn’t even open until 9 pm. You have the day off, and it’s time to wash clothes. Inside of a pocket though, you find your stash. That will be good for this evening, you think to yourself. C’mon. get it in gear! Your dealer is sure to be at the club tonight. You have the day off. Light up already! Sure. You are all alone and there is no real party happening, but isn’t a party only a party if you are there? Last night’s party got wild. You really need to stop mixing. Thankfully though, you have some crack cocaine in the house. You can stay high until the hangover goes away. Smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em!
The next step should be obvious right now if you truly want to completely ruin your life with Crack Cocaine. It’s time to forget the budget. After all… when did green leafy vegetables ever make you feel this good? Your friends are starting to tell you to slow down a bit, but holy crap! That’s just ‘cuz they can’t handle it. They are getting boring anyhow. Your dealer told you about this new place downtown and you are pretty sure you are going to try it out soon. You get paid again next month. If you really need green leafy vegetables that much, one of your friends will loan you some scratch until pay day. Right?
Okay… so now it is four months later and your lame friends won’t loan you any more money because they claim you still haven’t paid them back from the last time you borrowed money. Whatever. If they can’t be supportive of you, then F-em. Who needs them? The only real nightmare is that your dealer is threatening to cut you off. Apparently he wants to get paid too. Suddenly… you have this great idea. You can help him sell more. He will make more money and in no time at your entire bill will be square with him. It’s not like your bills amount to much anymore; since your Mom and Dad let you move home after you lost your job. That idiot boss of yours just doesn’t get it. When you have a stomach ache, you have a stomach ache. It’s not like he’s never called in sick before!
Okay… reality check. You are a drug addict…or at least that’s what everyone says. Mom and Dad and all of your old friends that don’t hate you hooked up to stage an “intervention.” Jesus! What were they thinking? You are just down on your luck. Sure. You smoke a lot of crack, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. Just to prove it though, you are going to go over to that treatment center they are recommending. Besides, if you don’t, Mom and Dad have made it clear that you have to go somewhere else. It’s only a few weeks. What the heck. It’s not like it feels as good as it used to.
Hey, congratulations! You have been sober for 3 months, you got a new job, and everyone is so proud of you. They still won’t get off your back about some stupid stuff though. You used to have a problem. Why does everyone still act like you still do? Crazy. You are so tired of watching T.V. with the family. Maybe you should try the bar. After all, you are going to have to go back there eventually. You won’t drink…. Well not really. You will just have one or two. You can handle it! This is next step to completely ruining your life with crack cocaine. Just remember this mantra: “I can handle it. It’s no big deal. Just once can’t hurt. Besides, everyone here that is doing it seems to be having more fun.” In a few weeks, once you have built your alcohol tolerance back up again, try another puff. There’s nothing like that first puff again after a few months of being clean. It’s better than sex. Smoke up!
The guy at the Pawn shop is eyeing you suspiciously, but you are looking at him straight in the eye as you pawn your mom’s wedding ring. He’s been buying stuff from you long enough that he sort of trusts you. Why is today any different? You do wish he’d hurry up. Your dealer isn’t going to wait around for you all day, and you are jonesin. You walk out of his shop, with a palm full of sweaty bills and think better of hopping the city bus to get to your dealer’s place. It’s only five blocks and you don’t have much money. On the way, you realize you really do have the problem that everyone said you did. You know this will be the final straw. Mom and Dad will really be kicking you out this time. Your dealer is your only friend, and you suspect that his patience is running thin. You need help. You know it. You decide to quit… just as soon as you smoke through the last stash you are about to buy. Six months later, you wake up in a room full of strangers who are all as high as you. You weigh 85 pounds, and some guy is dragging you outside because you can’t pay your bill anymore. There is no one you can call. You have burned all of your bridges. Congratulations. You have completely ruined your life with Crack Cocaine.
Sounds Riduculous huh? Hopefully you read this article before you try any drug for the first time. While this article is somewhat lighthearted it is meant to make you realize how addicts raltionlize thier addictions and how they end up in the predicaments they are in. Remember it all starts with that first puff, do not start and you will not have to worry about how you are going to quit!